Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
