I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
