im having a threesome with these popsicles
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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