i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
