check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
