Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
wat bout pragnant strippers??
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
