this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
