she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize