I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
