WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
