the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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