No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
