so that wasnt chicken after all
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
