I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
