with your own penis?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
