How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
