She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You are a genius and a whore.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
