Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
