I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think i got beer on your cat.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
