I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
