hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
