Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
