You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
