it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
