just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
