then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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