If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
