i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He better not be in your backpack
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
