its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
