how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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