Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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