Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Quick, to the slutcave!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
