wanna go halves on a baby?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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