I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
