My first STD was from a foam party
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
