I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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