I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
