I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Couch. On fire.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
