We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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