he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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