I smell stomach acid.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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