Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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