I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
