what if every blade of grass was a penis?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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