we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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