this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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