great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
