Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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