guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
