"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
