he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
