do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
