just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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