He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This is the prime rib incident all over again
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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