Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
