his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
